Why My Cluster Knows More Secrets Than I Do

My Kubernetes cluster is basically a vault. Not because I set up HashiCorp Vault (I should, but let’s be real), but because it quietly collects and guards every secret I’ve ever thrown at it.

It knows my database passwords — the ones I forgot to note down anywhere.
It knows the API tokens I hastily generated during “quick fixes” that were neither quick nor fixed.
It even knows about a file called supersecret.yaml that I swear I didn’t create, but it’s sitting there in kubectl get secrets like a ghost of past deploys.

The cluster is like that friend who remembers every embarrassing thing you’ve ever said. You’ve moved on, but it hasn’t. It holds onto credentials long after the services they belonged to are gone.

One day, I realized that if someone kidnapped me and demanded all my production secrets, I’d have to shrug and say, “I don’t know, but my cluster does.” Then I’d hand them kubectl access and wish them luck decoding Base64.

Lesson learned? Document secrets. Rotate them. Maybe, just maybe, don’t rely on Kubernetes to be your diary of shame. Because right now, my cluster knows more about me than I do.